Did I just go through medical school?

After an hour and a half discussion with the cardio doctor I think I just went through medical school.  I didn't know if today would be the day the plan would be decided or not.....well I just found out.

They want to wait 2 weeks and let Charlotte grow and they see how she is tolerating her heart as it is.  After reading that I am sure you are thinking bummer....but I am actually okay with it.  The discussion today really helped me to understand actually how complicated her situation is (an 8 out of 10) according to numerous doctors....you know I had to ask for my number brain.  The doctors are still trying to sort out what kind of heart repair to do and are thinking if she gets bigger the heart tisse will grow and give them a better repair.  So in two weeks they will reevaulate how she is doing (it may be sooner if she isn't tolerating her current situation or not growing) and maybe do a surgery at that time, start working on the nose issue (choanal sytnosis), or let her grow more.....there are just to many pieces in Charlotte's puzzle.

I guess I am okay with it because I realize how much time and effort everyone at Children's is putting into coming up with her plan.  The ENT doctor told me the best of the best (like 35 doctors) were discussing her case, which is complicated and not straight forward.....

I wish I could jump ahead and time and see what the plan of action actually will be, but since that can't happen alot of prayers to guide the doctors in the correct direction for Charlotte are much appreciated to make my baby better and bring her home.....gosh that would be nice.  And we thought Clayton being in the hospital a couple extra days for jaundice was bad....this 15 day-??? journey really puts things into perspective.

Clayton and the Never Land Pirates...

Yo Ho Lets Go....Maties!

I "surpised" Clayton and picked him up tonight on my way home from Chicago (took me 4 hours!!!!)...he was dressed up like a pirate.  By the time we got home and I took a pic....this was the best he would let me get....aaahhh!  Nice to be home with my boys, Blake and I are going back up Friday to talk with the doctors again so Blake can get a better understanding b/c I am sure my 10 min version of our 1.5 hour discussion left out alot of details (and he needs a Charlotte fix).

Where I stayed last night...

I got a phone call around 5 p.m. that they had an opening at the Ronald McDonald house for me.  I was really excited to try it out because of all the wonderful things I have heard about it.  I got there late (didn't want to leave the hospital) and was impressed when the shuttle dropped me off.  Look how beautiful the house is....right in Lincoln Park. 

I checked in and then was off for the house tour....that's when I started feeling really uneasy.  I know it is a wonderful place, but it just made me feel more alone.  Everyone else knew each other and in the kitchen everyone was cooking dinner and helping out.  I just felt like and outcast.  I think if Blake would have been with me it wouldn't have been so bad....but I think he would have felt the same way.  I feel like such a snot for feeling this way.  I am totally used to communal living, having lived in my sorority house for 2 years....but this was different.

When we got to the room I was hoping for a television so I could just veg out in my own space....no TV!  At the hospital I even have a TV.  So I went on a walk to find some food...by 8 p.m. alot of things were closed...so I grabbed a slice of pizza and headed back to the house.  There was a community television area, and no one was there....so I did get to watch some tv and actually relax for an hour or too.  Overall, it wasn't to bad...and I might try it again but we will see.

On a side note, I got a new cell phone (US cellular) last week and it is amazing.  I can actually talk on the phone at home...and there are alot of apps, so I can blog right from my phone....awesome!  Makes it nice to be able to post some pics.

Still waiting to hear on Charlotte's plan!  Pray for the doctors to come up with one soon....

Our first slumber party...

Charlotte and I had our very first slumber party last night.  Since it is just me by myself up here this week (and because I am cheap) I decided to just stay in the hospital with my baby.  She has been down in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) since her surgery last Wednesday.  The rooms are private rooms...so that makes it nice for mommas that have a long way to travel.  I have been trying to get a room at the Ronald McDonald house....but they don't have any available right now.  They only have 21 rooms....so who knows when something will open up....but until them we will just have slumber parties.  :-)

She looks like a new baby to me.  Her coloring is great and she is happy.  I am really starting to see the resemblance with her and Clayton.  The only difference is I think she has more of my coloring.  She keeps sucking on her breathing tube like a passie....it is really cute!  Since her surgery on Wed she is doing well and and the doctors are pleased with her recovery.  I got to hold her yesterday which makes me very happy.

Yesterday they talked about Charlotte in case.  That is where the team of doctors get together to discuss what needs to be done to come up with a plan.  I was hoping for an actual plan yesterday....but they are still missing pieces to the puzzle to come up with a definitive answer as to the path they will recommend.

So today Charlotte is getting a MRI of her heart so the doctors can hopefully come up with their recommendation on heart surgery.  She either needs a two ventricle or one ventricle repair.  A two ventricle would require her to grow and lead to something needing to be done ENT wise for her nose....a one ventricle repair could mean heart surgery first b/c they is done in multiple surgeries.  I am kinda hoping they recomend a two ventricle repair so we can get the ENT issues solved and get back to Peoria....

Tomorrow the ENT doctors want to take her breathing tube out.  Her vent settings are on room air and are really low...she actually is breathing pretty much on her own.  Most babies are nose breathers...so that is the real issue.  They don't know if she will be able to breath just from her mouth....

Hopefully after the MRI and removing the breathing tube we will have more of a plan.  The doctors are thinking maybe by Thursday or Friday we can discuss their recommendations and the plan of action.

Weekend update...

Blake and I came home for the weekend.  We left Thursday afternoon after talking to the doctors.  I had a really hard time leaving my baby.  I miss Clayton and being home so much and I am totally fine with leaving until we start packing up our stuff....and we actually are going home.  It is so nice to be at home with my other baby.  He has been taking care of me with his doctor set....so cute!

Charlotte is doing wonderfully from her surgery.  Thursday she was still heavily sedated because the doctors wanted her body to heal from the tough day she had on Wednesday.  Her blood gases and blood pressure fixed themselves once she came out of surgery.

We have been calling a couple times a day to hear her progress.  They are weaning her off of alot of medication and everyone is happy with her progress.  Her blood gases are normal, her vent settings are back to room air, she is off the blood pressure medication....I am sure there are other things I am forgetting.  They started feeding her my breast milk again today!  She has been happy and awake for diaper changes and position changes, which is a good thing.  Our little feisty girl gets upset alot...so I hope that means she is feeling better!

This morning she was having extra heartbeats which is caused by low electrolytes and is common in babies who just had heart surgery.  They are giving her potassium and electrolytes...so that should fix the problem.

My poor Charlotte...I am ready to get back up there and hopefully hear a plan from the team as to what the next steps are!

***Make sure to look at older posts....I just added some pictures!***

She did awesome!

Charlotte had a really rough morning (after I posted my first post).  She was having issues with her blood gases and the doctors were concerned during rounds this morning.  They were off because she has a lot of acid in her blood and having the duct open causes alot of extra blood flow to not necessiarly the correct places, like her lungs. 

They started giving her fluids and other medicines to balance the acid.  The doctors did another echo to make sure her heart function was still the same for the surgery today.  It was!  So we were kind of on eggshells this morning waiting to hear news if the surgery was going to happen or the bronch.  The doctors decided that now would be the best time to do the surgery b/c it could stablizer her further.

Around 2 p.m. she went into surgery.  They did the bronch first and the ENT doctor came to talk to us right after it was complete.  The findings were really good!  Good news for once today.  They got a bigger ventilator, which will help her breathe easier and found that her airway is perfect.  There is nothing wrong with it all.  They also looked at her nose and found out that there isn't a complete blockage like they thought, but a narrowing in the back of her nasal passage....so it is open all the way through....just smaller!  Hmmm....I wonder who has similar issues?  Blake has the same issues with his nasal passages, but obviously not as bad b/c he can breathe.  So good news from the ENT team.  They aren't sure when they will be able to fix her nose.

The cardiac surgeon came out when the surgery was done and we also got good news from him!  Charlotte is still very sick, but once they closed the PDA her blood pressure went up instantly (a good thing) and her blood flow to her extremeties was more normal. 

Hopefully closing the PDA will help with the acid problem...

Oh she is out of recovery!!!!  time to go see my baby!!!

First Surgery....

Charlotte will have her first surgery around 2:00 today.  We are hoping for some snuggle time before she is going to surgery.  She will be moving from the NICU to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) to recover....then back to the NICU.

Send prayers our way.....

Oh and Happy Bday to Blake.  What a way to celebrate his 29th bday....at least we are making some progress!

Plan for tomorrow....

Charlotte had an interesting day yesterday.  She must have known her Mommy and Daddy were coming to visit for a couple of days.  We got up to the hospital around 10:30 and at around 11:00 Charlotte had an SVT episode.  SVT stand for Supraventricular Tachycardia or really fast heart rate.  Her heart rate is usually from 130-150 even in the womb and it jumped up to 300.  It was scary for us because we didn't know what was going on.  You know what fixed it?  A bag of ice on her head.  Crazy that is all it took.  I makes babies bear down and shake themselves from it.  She had a second episode yesterday as well.  Both happened when she was getting mad from being pricked...I told you she was feisty.  They put her on a medicine to prevent his from happening again.

Charlotte got a CT scan of her chest so the doctors could look at her PDA ductus.  This duct is open in all babies when they are born and close on their own.  Hers has not closed yet, so they are going to do a surgery tomorrow to close that.  This surgery usually only takes about 1 hour and the doctors can do it at the bedside in the NICU, but since her heart is different this procedure could take up to 4 hours in the OR.  After this surgery is done they are also going to a bronch exploratory procedure to check out here airway.  The ENT doctors want this done at the same time so she only has to go under anesthesia once. 

So Charlotte had a big day yesterday.  She had her big beautiful dark blue eyes open alot yesterday and I was able to snap a picture.  I forgot to bring my cord to upload pics...so that will have to wait until we get home.  (She likes being swaddled tightly....as you can see....look at her hair!!!  Don't u think she looks like Clayton?)

Today we get to hold her!  She is 9 days old and we have not been able to hold her.  I can't wait!  I know she wants some mommy/daddy loving.  Doesn't she look cozy?

Clayton is loving being at his Grammie's houses....but as started asking questions or making comments this week.  I think he realizes what is going on...here are a couple comments:

"Mommy has owies and I need to take care of her at my house"
"Daddy needs to be home working on tractors in the shop"

We miss him terribly....our hearts are torn between home and Chicago.

If something changes today I will post and update.

Keep the prayers coming for tomorrow's big day of surgery!

Charlotte Victoria...

(these pics are from 8/17...Charlotte at 3 days old)

We have been calling a couple times a day to check on our angel while we are at home for the weekend.  She is tolerating her feedings well.  I think she is up to 10 ml each feeding of my milk.  We still haven't heard if they are doing a heart scan tonight or not.  We are planning on heading back up there in the morning.  It kills me be away from her, but it is really nice being home with Clayton Jay.  He keeps telling us he missed us while we were gone.  He has been going to school everyday and staying with his Grammie's....so life is good for him! 

Thanks everyone for the generosity you have shone us.  Blake and I are truely blessed with the family/friends that we have.  Thanks for the kind words of encouragement, prayers, and thoughts.  Keep them coming!

Childrens Memorial...

Charlotte made it to Chicago safe and sound around 9 p.m. last night via helicopter!  This is the landing pad where she landed....wow what a little adventure she has been on already.  We decided to stay at home last night with our little buddy and head up this morning.

The hospital is right in the heart of Lincoln Park.  Blake I walked around the area a little (what I could tolerate...which was 1/2 a block) and I found some old stomping grounds from a few years back....those were the days.

We thought Charlotte would have her nasal surgery today, but we were wrong.  Today they did a lot of scans to prepare for surgery.  She got a PIC line put in for a more permanent IV...since the one in her head and foot are temporary.  This way they can draw blood and give her fluids easier then having to prick her alot.  She was kinda fussy today with all the testing, poor baby.

All the doctors told us to go home for the weekend.  I was just realeased yesterday and was having a really tough time with all the walking!  By the end of the day my legs were swollen and I was in pain.  So home we go for the weekend.

They think she will have a heart scan on Sunday night or Monday.  They want to check her heart again before doing the nasal surgery to make sure the holes that are open in all babies hearts have closed.  If not they will have to fix those while they do the nasal surgery.  They aren't going to fix everything on the heart just the things that should change after birth.  Please pray they fix themselves....and we can leave the heart surgery to the team in Peoria!  We also did find out she has one big kidney instead of two.  This really isn't a big deal and kinda of common actually.  One of our good friends has this issue and I never knew it!  Other then that she is extremely stable and doing really well.

Keep the prayers coming.....

Leaving on a Jet Plane.....

Baby Charlotte is leaving on her first helicopter trip today to Chicago....she has decided it is time to go shopping for some newborn clothes...ha!

She is being transferred to Children's Memorial in Chicago to get her nose issue fixed.  Her nostrils are not connected to her airway because there is a bone in the way.  I asked what the correct terminology for the procedure was and they said they are drilling her new holes.  This is the first step to getting her airway issues fixed so they can start planning her heart surgery.

Blake and I are thankful to finally have something started to get our sweet baby girl home with us.  She might get to come home with us from Chicago b/c her heart procedures will take place in Peoria and her heart is very stable right now.

Keep the prayers coming!  Hopefully we will get to sleep at home tonight and spend some time with Clayton then be on our way to Chicago tomorrow.

An update on my Angel....

I finally have my strength back!

After hemorrhaging I have been exhausted from the blood loss.  They contemplated having to give me a blood transfusion, especially after my dizzy spell on Monday night.  (I couldn't even see.)

Charlotte is very stable down in the NICU.  It is a very weird experience not being able hold/be near your baby at all times.  We can go visit her when we want, but still haven't gotten to hold her yet because she is on a ventilator.

They don't want to take the vent out in fear of her airway closing up(they aren't sure on why it was so hard to vent her in the first place).  She also has a condition that needs to be sorted out where her nasal passages don't connect to her airway.  Her anatomy looks correct from the outside/inside but it is blocked.  The ENT (ear nose throat dr) doesn't want correct this until she is older, but the heart doctor wants it fixed before she gets heart surgery.  Our neonatal Dr. has been calling Children's Memorial in Chicago to see if someone there will do it.  So she might be transferred to Chicago, which would suck!  But at this point there is no game plan yet, so we don't know what to expect. 

Her ventilator settings are pretty much down as low as they can go today!  This is great news that she is pretty much breathing on her own, but they don't want to take it out yet in fear of losing the airway.

Her heart is stable!  It is really amazing that her heart rate is aways around 150.  At this point they don't think she will need surgery until she is between 3-5 months old.  But this could change once all the doctors get together to figure out her plan.

They started feeding her today and she is tolerating it very well.  She loves her mommy's milk.

She is a fiestly little thing and gets mad easily.  Her eyes were open a ton yesterday, so that was nice.  She moves her legs/feet and arms/hands around alot.  It seems like she likes to be snugly wrapped with a blanket around her arms and belly.  I know she wants me to hold her too!

I think I will get discharged tomorrow.  I am excited to get to go home and sleep in my own bed without being woke up by nurses/doctors every couple hours.  Also I miss my Clayton Jay like crazy.  Blake and I decided we didn't want him to come to the hospital to see baby sister b/c it is kinda scary.  I know while I won't be able to be with Charlotte alot at least she will be the best care possible....and I will be able to pump for her.  The nurses and doctors can take better care of her right now then I can.  Man this will be hard, but worth it when my baby girl is healed!

Blake has been leaving in the afternoons so I can get some rest to spend time with Clayton.  It is amazing how much he has changed in the past couple of days....he is growing up...and his vocabulary is expanding.  He told Old Papa that "Daddy suprised me and picked me up from school"....where did he get the word suprised from?  He asked me why I was at the doctors....and he has been telling everyone about his baby sister "Charlotte Toria".....so cute.  I can't wait to see him.....this has been the longest I have been away from him in a long time. 

I will post some pics soon....I promise!  I know you are all dying to see her black hair!  The nurses/dr.'s have already noticed her love of bows....they have a red bow covering the iv in her head...so cute!

Charlotte Victoria has arrived....

At 10:25 p.m. my little Charlotte Victoria had arrived.  At 36 weeks she weighed 5lbs 14 oz and is 18 inches long!  Pretty good size for 4 weeks early. 

I thought I would be nervous for my second c-section, but I wasn't.  I was ready to not be huge and prego anymore.  They started sucking my fluid out and I could feel instant relief.  Everyone kept commenting on how nice my tummy looked for being so big b/c somehow I don't have hardly any stretch marks!  Once they pulled Charlotte out I watched them work on my baby girl for 25 minutes trying to get her ventilated.  Talk about a scary situation (thank god they NICU was there).  She had so much fluid and snot/etc up her nose and in her mouth they had a hard time getting a clear airway.  They were pulling adult sized buggers out of her poor baby nose.  They finally got the ventilator in....she was breathing on her own, just really labored b/c of all the fluid.  Her heart was stable through all this, which is amazing.  I could hear her baby cries too, which helped me know she was okay.

I was on the operating table forever!  I almost asked Dr. Leo if he was giving me a tummy tuck.  I was so exhausted the entire time.....I kept falling asleep (crazy right?).  Well later I found out that I was hemorrhaging...could this all get any scarier? 

I was in recovery for 2 hours where they were monitoring me....and I finally got to go see baby girl at 1:30 a.m. in the NICU.  She has black hair like me!  I think she looks like Clayton, just alot smaller.

What a day!

Not exactly how I thought I would be spending my Sunday....

Last night after we got home from Megan's bday party I started feeling some gushes while I was nesting up in baby Girl's room...I know to much info!  I didn't really think much of it b/c Dr. Dameron told me that if my water broke I would feel a big gush! 

Throughout the night I had a couple more episodes but still didn't think much of it.  I wasn't cramping or anything!  Sunday morning I felt great.  I got up and cleaned the entire upstairs.  I got baby girls closet ready and was just nesting like crazy.  That afternoon I took Clayton to Logan's bday party.  He was such a  good boy for me and had such a great time....but then I started feeling crampy.  So who else would I call but my own personal nurse Kristen!  She told me she thought my water was leaking....so then I got freaked out.  I called the Dr. on my way home from Atlanta and I couldn't get ahold of anyone.  The Dr.'s  husband actually gave me the wrong number....and my phone (stupid Sprint!) doesn't work at home....so after phone tag....I finally got the word to head to the hospital to get checked. 

Blake got Clayton out of the car and upstairs for a nap, I got my bag packed, my mom came over and we were off to St. Joe's!  At this point I was feeling fine, no cramping, no leaking....feeling normal!  We got to St. Joe and they knew we were coming.  I actually had the same nurse as when I delivered Clayton, so that was funny.  They tested my fluid and it came back negative.  So then they did a speculum exam and sure enough there was pooling where my amino sac had ruptured.  This was around 6:00 p.m.  Then all the sudden I stared having crazy contractions every 5 to 6 min apart.....

So they transferred me via ambulance to St. Francis right away.  I was getting wheeled in on a gurney and I hear "you look just like Sean."  Well my two nurses ended up being Kaitlin's friends...so that was nice to have two girls my age that were fun to be with all night.  Once we got to St. Francis I got another speculum exam to confirm again that my sac had ruptured.  Then off to my C-Section.

I kept saying through all this "I didn't plan on having a baby today." 

Future Hunter?

Clayton found Logan's rifle at his bday party....then Logan's grandpa taught him how to use it...

he thought he was hot stuff.
(I took him to the party and was feeling really bad.  On the way home I decided (or my body decided) it was time to have this baby.

Love Birds...

Happy 3rd Bday Meggy Baby....

I think Clayton might already be in love...

oh my goodness...

5 years ago today....

I married the man of my dreams!

Last night Blake informed me that we are a quarter of the way to our 20 year anniversary!  Crazy to think that by that time Clayton will 18 and baby girl will be 15....

We don't have any big plans tonight mainly b/c I am so prego.....but relaxing spending the night with my boys is enough for me!

35 weeks!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 35 Weeks 3 days

Dr. appt stats: Belly measuring 44 weeks, not dilated at all (this is a great thing with my belly size!)

Size of baby: Last week she was 5 lbs 6 oz - about the size of a honeydew melon

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained 29 lbs (yikes….due to all the fluid!) Can’t believe I don’t have cankles yet.

Maternity Clothes: I wear maternity everything now….my belly is huge and I can barely fit in some of my maternity shirts now! I love wearing dresses and skirts….anything that doesn’t touch my belly.

Gender: It's a girl!!!

Movement: She is VERY active – I think there is a party in my belly!

Sleep: I am so tired, so I fall asleep instantly but I am having major problems between 1:30-5:30 a.m. My stomach is so heavy I am up to sleeping with 3 pillows…Blake loves that!

What I miss: Being able to sleep, picking up my Clayton, being my 100 mile an hour self, bending over….the list is really endless.

Cravings: I've lost my appetite lately - I think maybe my stomach has run out of room…but there is always room for ice cream!

Symptoms: Actually this week I feel great! I have been having less Braxton hicks, so that is nice. I am just tired all the time and there isn’t enough hours in the day to get everything done! **Definitely crazy nesting lately**

Best Moment this week: Dresser is almost done (pics to come), closet is getting done this weekend, crib skirt should be done next week….you know I can’t just go into a store and buy a set….have to craft it up with custom fabrics! And there is no RED nursery girl stuff....just to give a hint on the colors.

Anywhere I go people comment on how big I am. I would be rich if I had a dollar for hearing how big and uncomfortable I look. Everyone thinks I am having a boy (probably b/c I am all belly) and can’t believe I still have 4 weeks to go…..it is quite comical.

Smoke show...

I finally drug myself out into the heat today to spend our family day at the McLean Co Fair to watch Matt pull his truck.

He is pretty bad A$$ when it comes to this stuff.  Of course he won both classes.

I am glad we made it out to watch.  The fair is such a special place for me....it is where I met the hubster.  It seems so much smaller now!

Clayton LOVED the pulls. (here he is with Matt's dad Paul)  He loved all the smoke!

We ended the night with a family cookout of course.  :-)

Ice cream and to social...

Tonight after dinner we went to Mr. D's to get some ice cream.  Clayton could have cared less about the ice cream, instead he wanted to play.

which led to a melty ice cream cone (his first!)

that had to be put in a bowl...

but we still held onto the cone...then the inevitable happened....

it fell on the ground!  OOPS!