T BALL!

  T Ball started tonight!  Well actually it started last week, but I didn't know about the practice...uggh.  Epic mom fail (disadvantages of not having a child in school yet!).  Anyway this year Clayton gets to play even though he is only 3.5!

  When we first got to practice Clayton was being shy.  Thank goodness Blake when with us! He had to go stand by Clayton for the first 15 min or so why they were practing batting.  Blake was able to sneek away and Clayton did great.  (Thanks to my friend Laura...I got some batting pics!)

 Running the bases....he looks so big!

 I decided I need to get him colorful shorts!  It is so hard to spot him in a crowd with this outfit.  I kept thinking a girl with pig tails was Clayton (okay my vision is really bad from far away!)...ha!  The other moms kept laughing at me.

 Had to hit home plate!

 Clayton's buddy Austin is on the same team!  Luckily we got on blue.  I think having Austin on his team really helps b/c Clayton just did what his buddy was doing.  They were good listeners but also had fun!

I was very impressed with the coaches getting the kids to do the different stations.  They hit off the t, ran the bases, and did a catching station.  I was by the running the bases station...ha!  I was afraid if I went by the others Clayton would get distracted....maybe next time I will get some pics of him doing the other things!

Constructions.....

On Clayton’s first visit to the hospital to meet his baby sister he was given a box of Trio building blocks.  The hospital had a big closet full of toys for occasions like these. 

He wanted to take these same blocks every time he came up to Chicago to visit Charlotte…so  I usually had them  packed for him.

Recently he had the blocks out playing with them and found this little advertisement for all the Trio building blocks sets……

Well he has been taking these “constructions (instructions)” around with him everywhere he goes….showing the Grammie’s, sleeping with them, I think they even made there way to Show and Share on Friday at school.

He wants Daddy to build all of them with him.  This is the first time he has really wanted something.  Nick Jr (our fav) doesn’t have commercials…so he never really “wants” toys, unless we walk by them at Wal-Mart.

(Shhh... I got him the castle set (which looks like it is for older kids...oops) on clearance the other day...he will be so excited....not sure when he will get them)

I am thinking these building blocks are so special to him because they remind him of Charlotte. 

He told me yesterday that Charlotte needs to come down from heaven and go back to Chicago so she can go swimming with us too because she would love the water….melts my heart!

Stanford Pool!

Today Clayton, Taylor, and I went to Stanford Pool!  We were playing and in walked "The Twins"....or Alyssa and Hannah our good friends Jake and Katie's girls.  Clayton LOVES them.  Alyssa right away wanted to take Clayton in the big pool to play with him.  He was so Excited.

Alyssa had to go play with her friends...which left Clayton trying to figure out where she was the whole time we were there.  We went back to the baby pool...which was fine with him.   There were a lot of kids his age there.

Stanford Pool is a VERY special place to me and lots of my Stanford Indian friends.  In the summer we all went to the pool with our Mom's every day.  I made great friendships at this pool throughout my childhood and great memories.

It is really sad how times have changed.  I think I was one of four Mom's at the pool.  People just drop kids off and leave.  I know I am a sun goddess (ha!), but I hope Clayton gets to make a few memories with me here as well.  It is so nice to have a pool 5 minutes from your house!

I am sure when we need another quick pool fix we will be heading to the Stanford Pool.

POOL DAY!

Today was a pool day....a much needed pool day for this momma!  I took wedding pictures yesterday which was exhausting and HOT!  It has been like 90 degrees here in central IL.

Me and Clayton relaxing!

Blake was the photog for me today....I love actually being able to be in the pics!  Marin and Clayton on the raft playing.

We spent the day with Blake's family swimming and eating.  The day couldn't have been any better!  I am looking forward to lots of swimming days on the weekend in the summer.  Summer here we come!

The Moon...

Clayton:  "Mommy look at the moon...it is a crescent moon.  I thought it was going to be a big one."

Me:  "Wow buddy it is a crescent moon...look how pretty the sky is.  Who taught you that."

Clayton:  "I learned it at school."

How in the world did he know or notice the moon tonight?  I can't believe he knows what a crescent moon is.    It really amazes me the things he is picking up lately.  I guess he has always had a thing for the moon though.  :-)

Mission Complete...

 I feel like such a brave Momma!  I wanted to go to Third Sunday Market (an antique show) today.  Since Blake is planting (should be done today) I had to Cman with.  I was a little nervous b/c it is SO crowded.  Alisha went with me...we were on a mission to just have fun. 

It was really windy and the dust was everywhere...so Cman wore my glasses pretty much the entire time.   Look at the cool toys he was playing with.  Don't worry that one probably cost $80...yikes!

 I bribed Clayton with food...first it was ice cream...then he wanted his own water.

 After we made our purchases (I got a coffee table truck thing)...we headed back in for a corn dog.  Clayton's favorite.  I told Alisha we definitly worked off enough calories to have one too...

Hot...tired...and ready to go.  He passed out in the car on the way home.

I was so proud of him for being a good listener and good boy the whole time.  He had SO much fun looking at the toys and bird cages.  I have no idea where the bird cage thing came from....but he loves them.  Did I mention we went to Walmart before this?  Yeah we did...with no fits and all fun!  What a great day.  :-) 

Daddy's been planting....

Daddy's been planting....this little boy (and momma!) miss him!  So when Clayton misses him...they do crazy stuff.

This was Clayton being Scully from Jake and the Neverland Pirates (he's a parrot!)

What's Today?

My 29^th Birthday!!  So what not better to do then to talk about myself.  I know there are a lot of random readers our there (HI!)…so I thought I would kind of introduce myself.

Hmmm..where to start?

I have a twin brother, two sisters,  Sean and I are 29, Alisha 27, and Taylor 25.  Not sure how my mom did it!  We are a farming family and my mom is teacher.

I was a SUPER shy kid.  I remember making my siblings order for me at McDonalds.  I have a been a fish since the age of 3.  I could jump off the diving board and swim to the deep end at 3!  Scary now that Clayton is that age.

I have always been in dance and gymnastics.  It is my thing…I was born to dance and flip.  If I hear any kind of music with a rhythm (PITBULL!!!)  I am dancing.  Throughout high school I was a cheerleader and loved every minute of it.  If you ask my siblings…they would tell you I was the annoying person doing cheers all the time and dancing around the house.  Ha!

I was valedictorian of my high school class.  I knew from the first Accounting class I took that I wanted to be an Accountant (boring right?).  I met the love of my life/best friend/you name it he is it…..in high school.  We went to different high school so that made it even better getting to know the Normal West kids.  

After high school I went away to the University of Illinois!  At first I didn’t like it that much, but once I joined a sorority and got to know some peeps I LOVED it.  It only took a couple weeks.  I ended up being Vice President of my sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta (those girls are my rock).  Don’t get me wrong…I worked hard and played hard….which landed me with one of the most amazing Accounting degrees in the country.

Blake and I dated the entire time I was in college, by the end I was dying for an engagement right…mainly so we could do a candle passing at the sorority house.  No ring while I was in college.

I graduated in May 2005 and started my career as an auditor for IAAA.  I worked and traveled all the time!  We did a lot of grain inventories (climbing grain bins to measure the corn/beans inside….told ya I was a farm girl).

We got engaged January 2006, married August 2006 (I was 23/Blake almost 24).  So when we got married we had been together 7 years.

May 2007 I decided I need a job with less travel, so I got a job with Nestle USA.  I currently still work here!  The number one food company in the world!  I do all the costing for Nutrition contract manufacturing (I can explain in person).

One year later we decided to start trying to have a baby.  The next year Clayton Jay was born (2008). 

In 2010 we built a house! 

In 2011 I became prego with Charlotte.  After 5 months Charlotte passed away.  I would say this was the worst period of my life, but Charlotte was in it…so it wasn’t. 

And now……this has become quite the story!  I could go on and on.

Few fun facts:

We are a farming family….I wouldn’t have it any other way!

I love eating chocolate/sweets in the morning.  (and a glass of milk)

I am OBSESSED with running/Zumba.  I run on my lunch breaks at work…I am really not that sweaty of a person.  J

I LOVE decorating/organizing.  I call the Pottery Barn catalog “my bible.”  I have friends constantly ask my opinion on decorating….maybe I should start a business?  Anyone need help?

I love being a Mommy…..it is the best job by far.

I love to cook and garden.

I love photography and I have a lot to learn!

I just wish I had more time to pursue what I LOVE!!!

Hope you enjoyed this little ditty….it was fun to write. I could go on an on.

Tonight for our b-day (remember I have a twin brother Sean....) we celebrated with pizza, salad, and this amazing cookie!  Great night for a patio dinner!  

Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day!

But a different one this year.

For you see, I am a mother

but one of my children isn't here.

I am a mother who is hurting

for this child who was so dear,

as I face this and other occasions

each and every year.

I am a mother who feels emptiness

over and over again

because I miss THIS child

and all that could have been.

I am a mother that who cared

as I watched my child grow,

and truly loved her more than anyone

will ever know.

I am a mother who has memories

and many tears to cry

over regrets I'll have to live with until

the day I die.

I am a mother who is thankful

for the miracle of birth, 

and all my child has taught me 

about life and my own self worth.

And so...

On this special "Mother's Day", I will

feel within my heart all the pride, love, and 

joy that makes me who I am and who I will always be

A Mother....just remember that please.

-Judy Sittner

Team Charlotte...Race for the Hospital!

Friday night after work this group (Rhendy, Mom, Laura, Ely/Katie, Me, Taylor, and Alisha) drove up to Chicago.  We checked in late and had dinner.  One my nurse friends Monica came out to meet us...so nice to see her!  We headed over to the race a little before 7 a.m.

The rest of Team Charlotte!  As you can see we were all wearing Charlotte's color.  Hot Pink!  I am so glad we all matched because it is SO SO SO much easier to find everyone in crowds of over 5000 people.  We all wore the hot pink hair bows that Taylor made.  We got tons of compliments on them.  Thanks Tay!

Two of my sorority sisters ran for Charlotte.  With pink John Deere hats and all!  Thanks Meredith and Jackie!

All of our shoes!

Emily!  Charlotte's favorite APN.  She is definitly one of my saving graces.  Emily was with her family and introduced me as Charlotte's mom....it sounded and felt so good.  

The race begin with a few water droplets...then downpour!!  They didn't do a very good job segregating the walkers from the runners so Rhendy, Alisha, and I ran on the sidewalk at the beginning to get with the running peeps.  This was good for me...I tried catching Rhendy the whole time!

Scott and Brett...more team Charlotte!  Scott and I worked at IAAA together!!

 See this time...PR!!!  I set my watch a little late, about .1 miles late opps!  But it was an 8:40  pace.  I cannot believe that.  I know Charlotte had something to do with that.  Notice all the water droplets....I was even under an umbrella at this point.  Cold and Rainy!!!!

(Jenna APN, Paige APN, me, Dr. McBride)  

I am so glad I ran into these ladies....also very important in Charlotte's care!  It was great to give them all a huge.

Pickles on a stick....why not???

We were cold and wet, look how beautiful we looked.  ha!

These are my girls!  me, Laura (this was Laura's first 5K, 18 weeks prego...so proud), Alisha (I caught the running bug from her/ the best sister you could ask for), Katie (another heart momma, so she can relate to everything I went through and is always supportive), Rhendy (great friend, another big supporter!), and Taylor (first 5K too!!  Her and Laura kept each other going to the finish.  Taylor came up to the hospital a lot to keep me sane and see Charlotte...I am lucky to have my sisters). 

This was such a fun experience!  I am so glad I decided to create a Team Charlotte.  Just another way to keep her memory alive.  These are way for me to stay close to my sweet girl.  What a great way to celebrate Mother's Day weekend.  Thank you girls for making this easy on me!

So whens the next one???

Can't keep up....

I can’t keep up…..

I wish there were 48 hours in a day…then I feel like I could keep up with my life.  I know I do it to myself, but that is how I was taught (thanks Mom) and how I will always be.  My sisters are the same way so I know I am crazy, but I just wear myself out. 

I have learned a lot from my sweet baby Charlotte.  Mostly importantly to put Clayton first, before cleaning and making sure my house is perfect.  Right now it is anything from perfect.  A random person would walk in and say how nice it looked, but to me I can see the dust on my wood floors and my furniture.  I left this morning with my throw pillows all over the place…but that’s what happens when you have to get your boys and you out the door to be at work at 7 a.m.!  **update-when I got home tonight I noticed Blake actually picked up our living room that morning...and I didn't even notice!!!  gotta love that man!**

With the nice weather, and our patio almost complete we have been spending a lot of time outside….which leaves me less time to be my psycho self.  It is really a trade off clean…or play with Clayton/hang out with hubster.  Hmmm…have you seen my boys?  Hang out with them.  I still need and crave this togetherness time that I lost when Charlotte was in Chicago. 

Speaking of Chicago…this weekend is the race!  The race for the hospital.  I think there are 17 people running/walking with me!  We have raised almost $4000 for the hospital!  You are all amazing.  J  If anyone wants to donate…the link is here.

I really don’t have any interest in going in the old or new hospital.  They are just buildings to me, but I do hope I get to see all my nurse friends…and it would be extra special to see the heart surgeons, but I don’t know if that will happen. 

You will be able to spot us in the hot pink!  (shirts and hair bows)  Of course for Charlotte we are wearing her color and sporting her stylish hair bows! 

(my new Charlotte shoes)

I digress back to the not keeping up part.  (I started this post this morning…and now at almost 2 I am finished it….ha.  story of my life)

Tonight I am joining a bunch of friends to Skype with Kelle Hampton.  Have you read her blog?…if not you should start.  We all read her new book “Bloom”, and are Skyping about that.  Okay so I finished it at 10:45 last night….what a slacker.  See I told you I don’t have time!

 She is a real Momma who was blessed with a child with Down Syndrome.  I am looking forward to talking with her, but afraid to also.  I don’t know if I can tell Charlotte’s story.  I seem strong for the outside, but I am still a hot mess on the inside.  It is so easy to type her story and talk about the good things, but to go through her life story is another thing in itself.    

I might just sit and listen quietly to my other friends in the group.  We all different perspectives when it comes to our children, so that will be interesting. 

I am looking forward to tonight and this weekend!  So stay tuned for lots of pics to come from last weekend and this one!

Solar System

Last night before bed…

Me:  “Clayton what do your new jammies have on them?”

Clayton:  “Oh rockets and a doggy….wait…no… Earth.  Mommy Earth (kinda sounds like Earf)…no doggies.”

Then he went on to count all the “Earfs” on his jammies. Then out of no where.....

Clayton:  “Earf is in the solar system.“

Me:  “Solar system?”  (completely baffeled b/c we have never talked about this before)

Clayton: “ Yes Mommy.  Earf is in the Solar system and it is a planet.  Earf has water on it so we can live there.”

Me:  “You are right my sweets.  Tell me more about the solar system.”

Clayton:  “The biggest planet is Mercury.”

Me:  “BLAKE get up here Clayton has a story to tell you…..”

I was in complete shock that he knew all this about planets and the solar system.  He obviously has some of the info wrong….but he knew all the names and said it all correctly in pretty complete sentences.  I think he knows more than I do.

Mr. John, his teacher also showed me that he can almost write his name on Friday…..

He is just a sponge an soaking up a ton of information.  I am so proud of my little man!!!

My birthday twin....

 Today we went to my best friend's little girls bday party!  Izzy and I are birthday twins.  So not only do I share my bday with my actual twin brother, but Izzy too.  Isn't she precious?

 I know one is young for my little pony, but we had to start early.  I got it for her...and look she wanted it open!!!

 the boys had a great time playing outside...

 of course there is never enough diggers to go around!

Another really fun day!  We got to go see their new house!!  On the way home Blake called and said turn around and go back to Kelly's...so I did (darn).  We got "tornado ed" in.  The weather was really bad I guess for the route home....so I just waited it out and got to hand out longer with my favorite people!

Another great day!  Happy Bday Izzy!